It’s called fiction for a reason

After a bit of an argument on Facebook, I felt compelled to write this blog post pointing out the differences between erotic romance fiction, and sex in real life. This argument started because a silly little man asked a question regarding male POV and do we really consider how a man feels when writing sex scenes. Well of course we do, we’re writers, not monsters! Unless it’s an F/F novel, in which case there is no male POV to worry about… But anyway – the conversation dissolved into petty bitching after comments about female POV were dismissed as unnecessary. Because everyone knows when a female is enjoying sex… Obvs… And female masturbation?? Oh there’s no need to research that when writing a lonesome scene. You flick a switch and cum don’t you? Hence the need for this post.



Women can only have one kind of orgasm.


Ha! No. There are several different ways to give a woman an orgasm, and several different kinds, and all depending on how you’re trying to get us off (or we’re trying to get ourselves off). There is a reason that female sex toys are wide ranging from clitoral stimulators, to vaginal vibrators / dildos, to anal toys.


Women can have an orgasm through penetration alone.


Whilst some can, it’s also very common for women to be completely unable to reach orgasm through penetration. Our clitoris is as sensitive as the head of your penis, if not more so. We have literally thousands of nerve endings down there. FIND THEM.


Men can tell when a woman is faking an orgasm.


You wish. The chances are that your wife / girlfriend has faked many an orgasm and you’ve never been able to tell. It’s not through spite, but sometimes you just take too long, so we fake it, and sometimes we just can’t reach an orgasm – which is more frustrating for us, trust me. Pelvic floor exercises do wonders for being able to control the right muscles though, so your ego isn’t battered and bruised by our inability to get off.


The average erect penis is 9 inches.


Actually, it’s probably closer to 6. Big cocks have the same attraction as big boobs – the bigger the better when it comes to porn, erotica and erotic romance. So we exaggerate. Although, there are plenty of books out there with average sized men and women.


Women don’t masturbate and watch porn.


They do. They just don’t brag about it to their friends.

So there you have it, a few facts for you to chow down on. Happy now?

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