Discovering the beauty behind sexuality #BOAW16

Waterolor beautiful girl. Vector illustration of woman

As part of August McLaughlin’s Beauty of a Woman Blogfest, I have decided to step out of my comfort zone and write a blog about the beauty of sexuality. So here goes!

It’s true what they say about turning 30. It really is the age of self-discovery when it comes to sex. At 29 I thought I knew all about my sexuality – I was married with children. I’d had flings with other women during one of my many “phases”, I’d even considered the fact that I might be bi-sexual, and at one point questioned whether I might be lesbian, but then I met my husband and nah… I was straight. I loved him, and was faithful. I couldn’t be bi could I? Then I turned 30, and my eyes were opened.

As much as I hate to admit it, reading a certain book about several shades of a colour between black and white, had something to do with my awakening. As a romance author (although unpublished at the time), I thought I knew all that I needed to know about sex. (Ha! You will never know all you need to know when it comes to sex, that is something I have learned over the past 4 years.) It wasn’t just EL James’ best-selling novels that set me on my new journey of self-discovery though.

A lot happened to me in my thirtieth year. One of those was a hysterectomy. After years of struggling with my hormones, and after two horrific pregnancies (both with happy endings thankfully), it was decided that I should just chuck my womb in the bin. At first I thought this extreme operation would leave me feeling less like a woman. I could no longer reproduce. I was no longer “whole”. Would my husband see me differently? Would I look differently? After numerous operations and 2 children my stomach already looked like a map of the London underground. Was I destined to live in baggy trousers and T-shirts for eternity? The truth is that after I fully-recovered from my op, which took six months in total, I felt more like a woman than I ever had. And the sex was amazing. I no longer held onto my orgasms, frightened because I was in pain, or that I was going to have a heavy bleed. I felt so free! My confidence grew, and I had started reading some seriously hot books – EL James introduced me to a world I knew nothing about but was certainly intrigued by. I discovered EROTICA!

I think Hubby was a little bit intimidated when I suggested different positions and introducing toys into our sex life. It was like we were in a new relationship all over again, discovering new likes and dislikes. We even created a safeword – it was such an exciting time. Four years later, and we are more comfortable with each other than we have ever been. I am no longer embarrassed by my body, I have learned to embrace the flab and love the scars and stretch-marks. Hell, this body made babies and endured enough hell for the entire female population, I think I look damn good! To boost my confidence even more, Hubby (who happens to be a photographer) set up a photo-shoot for me, and I even took my clothes off!!

GT0A0610   GT0A0620.jpg

Since turning 30, I have discovered that sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. With my confidence sky-high, I realised that the myths of sex are exactly that, and I opened up to my sexuality even more. It is possible to like both men and women, but be in a monogamous marriage with someone of the opposite sex, settle down and have children.

Make sure you visit August’s blog to be in with a chance of winning some great prizes!

 

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9 thoughts on “Discovering the beauty behind sexuality #BOAW16

  1. Yay Charlotte! What a fantastic positive blog – I’m so delighted you’ve refound your sexuality and sexual beauty x x

  2. Awesome photos!

    I mentioned in my post (www.iamannasky.com/engaging-with-sexuality/) about society loving to categorise us and that it can be damaging; to me accepting who you are is looking beyond those boxes and stop trying to fit in rather just be yourself.

  3. This is such a great and positive post. I’m always happy to read about a woman who is comfortable with her own beauty and sexuality. I still got quote a lot to go on that particular path, to get where you are now. Thanks for sharing!!

  4. Charlotte, Our bodies change so much through having children, and then there was your hysterectomy. Your life events have enabled you to embrace your sexuality in a whole new and beautiful way that I’m sure will inspire other women. Thanks for sharing!

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