Smut by the Sea (Warning: Loooooong post)

Friday 13th June 2014

Talk about a hectic day. The school run was as chaotic as ever.

“Stop arguing and eat your breakfast.” “Come here and let me wash your face.” “Have you got your hats?” “Stand still while I put suncream on you.” “Where’s your book bag?” “No you can’t have a chocolate sandwich, chocolate bar, and chocolate biscuit in your lunch box.” “Sit down and put your seatbelt on.”

Work was no better. It seems that everyone had been affected by either the date or the blistering heat. Fortunately, I love my job. I spend the day working with kids, and by working I mean going for walks to allotments, having drinks in the park on the way back, lots of cutting and sticking, and playing in sandpits. There were the usual stresses, but nothing that can’t be healed by a hot cup of tea.

Then the home school run.

“William, I’m really proud of you for only being told off 1,000 times today. Let’s go for 800 on Monday.” “Talk one at a time!” “No you can’t go to Fred* / Bob / Sandra / Wilber’s house for dinner tonight, and no they can’t come over to us. I don’t care if they’ve said that it’s okay, you can take your Nerf Gun.” “Just sit still and keep your seatbelt on.” “Put your hand back inside the car!”

*Names changed to protect the guilty. 

Home. Time to pack. Two suitcases on the bed; one filled with children’s clothes, one with mine and the husband’s. Why do the kids have a better selection than us? And why does my daughter have more shoes than me? Toys. Books. Clothes. PJs. Swimming bags. Trainers. Sandals. More toys. More books. Toothbrushes. Bath stuff. More toys.

Pack the dog’s bag. Bed. Toys. Bowl (which we appear to have left behind). Food. Biscuits. More toys. There seems to be a theme here…

Pack our suitcase… Sh*t. I forgot to do the washing.

Dinner time. Beans on toast – it’s quick, it’s easy, it’s simple. Done. And we’re off! Dogs at mother-in-law’s, kids at sister-in-law’s, time for a cup of tea before the hubby gets home.

It’s quiet. Eerily quiet. Hop in the shower, quick glug of tea, and hubby arrives. Shove everything in the car. Is 10 books too many or not enough? I’ll pack 15 of Seven Dirty Words and 4 of Four Letter Words just in case.

Midnight, and we finally arrive in Scarborough.

photo

A Welcome Sight

Saturday 14th June 2014  – Sunday 15th June 2014

Sh*t. It’s raining and I forgot to pack a jacket.

Car packed, time to find the library. Quick stop at a Brewer’s Fayre for breakfast. Arrive at the library a bit earlier than the 9.30 opening time.

I walked in to see a familiar and welcome face in Lucy Felthouse – not only an amazing author in her own right, but also my editor for The Black Door. At this point I don’t feel nervous at all – I still haven’t figured out which part of which book I’m going to read. But I hand over my signed copies to Ian, who is in charge of the book sales, and place my SWAG (bookmarks, lollies and business cards) on the freebie table.

There were 3 workshops led by Victoria Blisse, KD Grace, and Lucy Felthouse. I have to say, if nothing else, I took an awful lot home with me through these workshops. It was comforting to know that I’m not the only erotic romance writer who has words that they can’t stand to use, and make them feel uncomfortable and a tad queasy. It was also great to sit down and take part in some writing exercises that were inspiring. (Yes Kay Jaybee, I will be taking another look at my paragraph and making it into something else, even if it’s just a short story.)

I met some amazing people, and of course got to having a little shopping spree, getting Lucy’s book “Stately Pleasures” (signed, obviously), and a few bits and pieces from the Ann Summers stall!

After lunch it was time for the readings, with Mistress Kay ready with her paddle for anyone who went over time. It was a fun and relaxing experience, with plenty of giggles as authors edged away from getting a spanking! Then it was my turn. My stomach knotted, and I honestly thought I was going to throw up over the audience. In fact, I made an apology beforehand just in case I did faint or spew everywhere. Fortunately neither happened, and I read my “rude scene” as quickly as possible, and well within time.

I didn’t sell any books (boo…) but I did come away with a sense of inspired enthusiasm. None of it has been put into practice yet because I was helping with the Martock 10K run, followed by food shopping, and a stint in the garden. I’d like to point out that I am not a gardener, but look at my radish!

A lonely radish,
Basking in the hot sunshine,
He did taste so good.

 

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