A-Z of Romance: M is for Marriage

Well why wouldn’t it?

Nobody is saying that you have to get married – there are many couples who live in long and happy relationships without ever tying the knot. But marriage is romantic isn’t it?

For some it is the ultimate sign of commitment (although the same could be said about having children), for others it’s a lot of stress for a bit of paper. I got married. Why? Because I love my husband and wanted to show him that publicly. I wanted to declare my feelings in front of my family and friends. I wanted to swap rings and say vows. But a BIG part of why we got married is tradition.

holding hands

Weddings are a time to show love and commitment.

Rich and I had been together for 3 years when we finally got married. (We’d been engaged for 20 months at that point) And while love had a lot to do with our decision to get hitched, so did having children. We started trying for a baby around the same time as we got engaged, but deep down we both felt that having a baby outside of marriage wasn’t the right decision for us.

Now before people get on their soap boxes and high horses – I have absolutely no problem with people who have children and don’t get married. In fact I have a lot of friends and family who have children but haven’t been married. What I am saying is that it wasn’t right for us. And at the end of the day, that’s what’s important. As long as the decision you are making is right for you, then it is the right decision. (I hope that makes sense)

Weddings are STRESSFUL

So we got engaged in August 2004, and married in April 2006. That is 20 months of STRESS. Organising a wedding is the least romantic thing you can do, unless you are super organised to the point of OCD. We are far from that. We argued with each other, venues, our friends, family members… It was awful. But finally, 15th April 2006 came around, and although I was a bundle of nerves and felt sick the entire day (and dragged my best-friend to Tescos at 5am to find hair spray and bottles of water) I walked down that aisle. We said our vows, endured the over-dramatic reading from my grandmother and the highly emotional one from my sister-in-law (we love you both), and headed straight for the bar.

Done. Dusted. We are married.

But despite all of that, despite the temper tantrums, the nearly broken fishtank after I threw a glass tealight holder at it, the bridesmaid dress that had to be pinned to a bra because it no longer fitted, despite the swarm of flies that we had to walk through to get to the lake to have the lovely photos taken, the coke that got spilled down the front of my white dress (okay ivory), the mud that got trailed because it had been raining all morning… Despite all of that – we had just made the most romantic gesture we ever could.

And do you know what? We’re going to do it again. In 2016, we’re going to renew our vows in front of our new family members and new friends. We’re going to hold hands, with our children, and declare our love for each other. Because whether it’s something you believe in or not, marriage is the epitome of romance.

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