“April’s Baby” (remember that one?) is in its fourth draft. I decided that today is the day to wield the red pen and a pint of tea, and edit it into oblivion. Although it still needs a new title. So why am I sat here on WordPress, with my oven fizzing in cleaner, with an as yet, untouched, 290 page manuscript sat by my leg? Because getting a book published is 0.5% imagination, 0.5% perspiration, and 99% procrastination. That’s why.
I watched The Simpsons the other day. It was an episode where Homer and Bart joined forces with several other characters, and special guest Neil Gaiman to write a book. In order to prove that writing a book is not the work of several literary majors and a famous face, Lisa decided to write her own novel, single-handed. While Homer, Bart & Co. came up with a concept, wrote it, and got it published (albeit edited until it was unrecognisable), Lisa re-organised her work space, sat in a coffee shop, connected her Wi-Fi, and did everything she could to avoid writing. My husband looked at me and laughed. No other words were needed.
You see, my family always know when I’m writing or editing because I change by Facebook status about 10 times a day, actually cook a proper meal, and have a spotless house. If I’m not writing, the housework is a bit… Well… Meh. There are more important things to be doing than cleaning the oven. Unless I am wielding that red pen. Then I have this uncontrollable urge to don the rubber gloves and scrub until it shines.
But I’m pretty sure you’ve read all of this before… I swear, if they gave out medals for procrastination and avoidance, I would win gold every time.