Wish My Brain Had An Off-Switch

Or at least a dimmer. Chapter one, and possibly chapters two, three, and four, are now as close to perfect as I can get them. I’ve formatted the entire novel to meet the necessary standards (I hope), and I’ve found places where I can add at least a further three chapters.  This I don’t get – most writers I know, edit their works and remove entire chunks. I do that too, but then seem to add even more. When editing SEVEN DIRTY WORDS the first time, I found about 21,000 words that I wasn’t expecting. I’ve done the same with Four Letter Words, although at the moment, I’ve only found about 5,000, which is probably a good thing since I cut out a load of crap and my word count dropped below the 75,00 minimum threshold…  Oh well.  It’ll get there eventually!

My problem is that I’ve started sleeping and eating FLW. Walking the dog, cooking dinner, swimming lessons… It doesn’t matter where I am, my brain dings! and finds something else that could be included, or a way to improve the chapter I’m editing at the time.  AARRRGHH!!  SHUT UP BRAIN!!  Just five minutes of nothing would be a really, really nice! Worse – I’ve come up with several possible new story lines. So now, along with three draft versions of FLW, my pendrive also holds at least four new starting chapters for different novels.

On top of that, I’ve recently become obsessed with the programme ‘Doomsday Preppers’ on Nat Geo. Now, I’m not crazy enough (or perhaps I’m just too lazy) to actually become a prepper, but the idea of self-sufficiency appeals to me. Last night, Hubby and I were watching DP, and we decided to try and write a list of scenarios that could, possibly, might, maybe, probably not, happen.  With the input of my two best-friends, we came up with a list that takes up two sides of A4. Yes, there really are that many possible doomsday scenarios. I even went as far as downloading apps onto my tablet that list ways of surviving an apocalypse and things you should pack in your bug-out bag (referred to as a BOB – which had a completely different meaning for me until I googled ‘Prepper Terms’).

So now, as well as several new romance novels in the pipeline, and that goal to write a crime fiction, oh and hitting the NYT Best Sellers List, I now have my brain asking me: “Could I write a Dystopian fiction?” and “How would you survive in an apocalypse situation?”

I repeat: SHUT UP BRAIN!!

Of course all of this meant that I started considering a pen name (again). Most authors who write in different genres have a pen name. Brain would like to know what my pseudonym would be.  According to a picture up on FB from Mills & Boons, you should use your nickname and your grandmother’s maiden name.  I don’t have a nickname (well I do, but I am not divulging into what kids called me at school.  Let’s just leave it at I’m short and have red hair – it is red.  It is NOT ginger.  And kids can be very cruel), but Charlotte can be (and often is, despite my hate for it) shortened to Charlie.  So that would make me either Charlie Ball or Charlie Levers… Neither of which sound like good writers names.  But I’ve done the pen name post before, so I’l leave it at that before I turn into my grandmother and start repeating myself.

**headdesk, headdesk, headdesk**

So if you see a woman with kerrazy eyes, unbrushed hair, mumbling to herself, with a trolley full of soup and Smash, headed towards the vodka aisle – it’s just me.  Make sure you hide your children!!

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